I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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