Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
be right there i have to get my cape
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Panties = found
Randomize
