I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sober January is a disaster.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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