I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
