Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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