I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
PANTIES FOUND
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
