sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just cropdusted the office
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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