We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Someone signed my nipple.
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