I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so let's talk penis.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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