It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
