K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
