You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
