I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
