She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize