You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
