So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
