He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize