My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
