don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
