hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
