Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
