I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
