we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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