Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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