Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i permit you to call me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize