I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
