My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
