Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
