I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
