He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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