nut hugger
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
