i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
