when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
