Your tits are I can't wait for
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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