Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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