last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
