if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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