Your dad touched me again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I smell stomach acid.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
wow bdsm is so cute
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
