It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
