i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
