make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
