Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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