Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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