My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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