...so i touched it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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