Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
