sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
pop tarts are not kleenex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We had sex on a dog bed..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
