Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
