I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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