Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
