nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize