i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
