I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
