Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it glows. i had to have it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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