She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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