Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
