did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize