How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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