So gin and wine won't be happening again
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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