I think I won the penis lottery.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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