NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
