Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
