it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
