what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
