I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
