the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I had to cum in my sink.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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