We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
