I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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