I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
