I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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