she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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